And here's why you should too...
Our leading lady, Veronica Mars.
If I hear her described as 'sassy' one more time, I may have to start slitting throats. I mean, she is, but come on people, pull out a thesaurus or something? Please? Anyways, Veronica Mars is a brutally honest, cynical little ray of sunshine. She is blunt, to the point, and reasonably bright, although they haven't really got into her classes or anything. I assume she is smart, as her afterschool job is doing detective work for her dad's one-man agency. More on her dad later. Veronica also has serious social issues, but I'm thinking that has to do with the fact that her best friend Lily Kane was murdered last year, and in the ensuing shitstorm, her father lost his job, her mother left town, and her entire friendsgroup, the 09ers completely ostracized her. The 09ers are so called because that is what their zip codes end in. Veronica went from queen of the school to Public Enemy Number One in a year. Now everyone hates her, except, notably, for some amusing and toothsome boys. More on them later too. Veronica Mars is like a Smartie, with a hostile candy shell. Inside, I think, she's really still hurt by her mom's taking off, and maybe still missing her ex-boyfriend, Lily's brother Duncan Kane.
Veronica's dad, Keith Mars.
Once the sheriff of Neptune County (yes, you read that right. The Mars family lives in Neptune county. Moving on...) he was run out of office for actively pursuing Jake Kane in the Lily Kane murder case. Yes, Jake was Lily's father. He is also the most powerful and one of the most popular men in the city. Needless to say, when it came out that Sheriff Mars was interrogating the grieving father, his adoring public was outraged -- hence the good sheriff's forceable resignation. We get the impression that Keith Mars was pretty damn good at what he did though, seeing as he now runs his own private detective agency. Keith is somewhat blacklisted in the town I assume, after going after Jake Kane, but most of the characters we've been introduced to seem to have been on Keith's side. WHERE WERE YOU FUCKERS LAST YEAR?! Keith screams. Well, not really. As of late, Keith Mars appears to have let the Lily Kane murder case go, even threatening daughter Veronica to 'stay out of it.' I think that Keith's wife's disappearance is somehow linked to the Kane situation, but it's only ever been implied.
One of Veronica's two friends, our introduction to Wallace came when Veronica found him duct-taped naked to the school flag pole. Yes kids, Neptune High is a nasty place. Anyways, our fair hero cut him down, and Wallace has been indebted to her ever since. Or something. Veronica tried to brush him off at first, warning him of her status as Permanent Social Pariah and such. Wallace doesn't really seem to care, though. He's very laid-back, and often cracking jokes -- I think he balances out Veronica's tightly-wound personality nicely. Wallace is an office aide, which grants Veronica an all-access pass to every private document a typical high school holds. They make quite the duo, actually. Wallace is always the one to bring in humour when he feels like Veronica is taking things too seriously. He also has no love for Weevil, who is the leader of the PCH biker gang.
Wallace: May I remind you that this is the guy who duct-taped me butt-naked to a flag pole?
Veronica: Man, you really hold a grudge.
Wallace: Yeah, I'm funny like that.
All right, Duncan is supposed to be The Guy of Neptune High, but honestly? He creeps me out. Duncan is Murdered Lily's brother, and Veronica's ex. After her father went after his father, Duncan broke up with Veronica, thereby booting her out of the 09ers clique. It's unclear whether this was what he really wanted. He's pretty much the king of the school, but I'm fairly certain he's dead inside. Duncan is on anti-depressants to help him cope with Lily's death, although last eppy he experimented with a little thing I like to call "Duncan Stops Taking AntiDepressants, Hallucinates, And Throws Himself Off The Bleachers. No Really." Unfortunately, he survives, and after a vivid hallucination in which his dead sister exhorts that not everything adds up in her murder, Duncan goes back on the drugs. Way to hide from your problems, Duncan.
Is an asshole. A creep and a malevolent asshole. In the pilot (or second episode...) he smashes Veronica's headlights in with a baseball bat. Admittedly, she had framed him by planting a bong in his locker, but honestly. Showing up with a menacing gang of your friends and threatening bodily harm? She's one girl, man. That's just scary. He would be cute if he lost the puka shell-necklace. And the attitude. I make up for his complete and utter lack of likeability by slashing him with Duncan, even though there's really no chemistry or subtext to speak of.
Holy mother of god. We love Troy. This cannot be emphasized enough. First of all, his name is such a superhero alias name. Second, he is Iceman's twin brother. No, seriously, Aaron Ashmore. He is, I think, Veronica's intended love interest, though she seems a little conflicted about her feelings for Duncan still. Troy is persistent in his pursual of Veronica, who basically spurns him at every turn. Through all this, he remains upbeat, witty, and charming. He's sort of like Xander on Buffy except with extreme self-confidence. Troy is an 09er, and friends with Duncan, two of Veronica's reasons for being skeptical about the possibility of a relationship. As of now, they have been on one date.
Troy: I'm sick of this song *thwaps radio at their table* *song goes on playing* Had that worked, I would've expected sex.
Veronica: Had that worked, you would've gotten it.
Troy: *raises eyebrows* Check, please.
He then proceeds to borrow her phone and program it to be 'booty call enabled'. Which is really a lot cuter than it sounds. Troy is the third member of Veronica's friend group. I've only ever seen him and Wallace interact once, but they seem to bond over mocking Veronica's insanity. I cannot BELIEVE there aren't any pictures of him at the website. FUUUUCK YOUUU UPN! Guess everyone just has to watch it and see the hotness for yourselves, right?
Evil Dad. Jake Kane is the most powerful man in Neptune, and has strained relationships with both his wife and son. He was Keith Mars' suspect in Lily Kane's murder, as mentioned before, but nothing came of it. It's obviously implied that someone in the Kane family had a hand in Lily's death, but (as it's the beginning of the show still) that hasn't been explored much. No pictures of Jake Kane either, but you're not missing much.
I'm pretty sure Weevil has a real name, but I haven't been attentive enough to catch it yet. The leader of Neptune's resident biker gang, Weevil spends a lot of time swaggering around wearing leather. Veronica has helped him out a couple of times, law-wise, and as such, they're pretty much friends. Weevil is a decent guy, as criminal-types go. He whaled on Logan Echolls, for example, during that whole "baseball bat to the car" scenario I mentioned earlier. The PCH biker gang and the 09ers have a bit of a rivalry going, basically meaning that they beat each other up in the streets sometimes. Apparently having a spiffy zip code doesn't make you above forming your own gang of preppies...or something..
Replaced Veronica's father as Sheriff after the Kane Murder Festival of Pain And Humilation. Replaced Logan Echolls as Biggest Jackhole in Neptune, in my books. Don Lamb was Keith Mars' deputy, and totally sold him out instead of having his back, when the shit hit the fan. Now he's a particularly incompetent sheriff. Also, Veronica hates his guts for more than that reason, as explained ina flashback when she went to the sheriff's office with roofies or something in her system and he LAUGHED AT HER. She started crying and he laughed. Sheriff Lamb, it is safe to say, is likely not someone with layers. Villain. Bad Guy. Loser. Hate him.
There are other characters, whom I don't really care about enough to get into. To my eternal shame, Paris Hilton appears now and again (she was in one eppy so far. I don't know if she's a regular.) But guess what? I am willing to watch the show anyways. THAT is how good it is. It makes me ignore my burning hatred for Paris Hilton. And really, I'm almost of the opinion that if a show can do that, it should automatically win some kind of award. Because I really fucking hate Paris Hilton.
Minor additional picspam.
So. That's Veronica Mars. Tuesdays on UPN at 9:00.